Presumptive Presidential Nominees Trump and Clinton Get Into Pissing Match on Twitter

This is what current politicians were like before Twitter.

The future President of the United States and her Republican opponent got into a pissing match on Twitter today and it was whatever the opposite of amazingly presidential is.

Trump attacked first:



Then the person running Hillary's account (because, let's face it, Hillary uses Twitter as much as my grandmother) fired back with this:



Props for the Garbage Time reference, but still... not presidential. Nor was it over.



Trump's Twitter game is strong.

Now I'm off to bed to dream about an alternate universe where Joe Biden and Mitt Romney were each their respective party's nominees, Trump was still firing celebrities from his fake reality show business, and Hillary was somewhere getting paid to give speeches to rich people.

RIP Kimbo Slice, the Toughest Man on the Internet

RIP Kimbo Slice.

Kimbo was injured during his time in the UFC, and was a sideshow attraction for Bellator, but he was once the baddest man on the Internet.

Don't believe me? Here's video evidence.

Hillary Clinton Won and Now It's Time To Suck It Up and Vote for Her

Has it come to this? It has come to this.

I don't like Hillary Clinton. You don't like Hillary Clinton. Bernie and his bros don't like Hillary Clinton. I'm pretty sure even Bill doesn't like Hillary Clinton all that much.

Nobody likes Hillary Clinton.

But she won the Democratic nomination. If you need proof, here's the proof:

Painful, I know. I'll give you a few minutes to let the horror sink in.

...

Now that we're all disgusted with all things politics, it's time to get over it. There's only one choice for President this year, and it's Hillary. We basically HAVE to vote for Hillary.

Why?

Because the alternative is this guy:

Who is that guy?

He's a birther, he's anti-vax, he's pro-punishing women who get abortions, he's either a racist or too damn stupid to know what he's saying is completely racist, he's a liar on a level that Hillary could only dream of achieving, and he's a complete lunatic.

And he can't be president.

Not of this country. Not of my country. Not of any country.

He's a guy who stands for nothing. His policies change depending on who he's talking to. His only real consistent talking point is questioning the integrity of anyone who dares speak up against him.

He's not a bully, he's a jackass.

Clinton is a lot of things, but she's not a moron. At least we know where she stands, and we know she's intelligent enough to not fall under the spell of conspiracy touting tin-foil hat wearing imbeciles like Alex Jones.

So suck it up people. Go to the polls in November. Hold your nose. Vote for Hillary.

Drunk Me Reacts To Michael Bisping's UFC 199 Win on Twitter

Here's to hoping Luke Rockhold doesn't read this, come find me, and murder me dead.

RIP Muhammad Ali

“Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they’ve been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It’s an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It’s a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing.” - Muhammad Ali

Dombrowski: Your Red Sox Need Pitching Help Sooner Than Later

If we learned anything over the last few days, it's that the 2016 Boston Red Sox need an infusion of major league pitching talent and they need it sooner than later.

Coming into the season, we knew the Red Sox pitching would suck. Joe Kelly, Rick Porcello, and Clay Buchholz were going to be prominently involved, so 3 out of every 5 days were going to involve throwing batting practice to the opposition.

What we didn't know is that the 2016 Red Sox would feature an offense that's so epic that it would be a God damn travesty to let it go to waste.

Dave Dombrowski needs to do something, and he needs to do something now.

You can't have multiple 10+ game hitting streaks going on at all times, guys hitting 5 HRs in 2 days, and be on pace to score around 1,000 runs, yet not get enough pitching to at least win the games offense plates 7+ runs.

In their last 3 losses, the Red Sox have scored 7, 9, and 9 runs. How is that even possible?

To make matters worse, guys we thought the Red Sox could depend on out of the bullpen, like Tazawa and Kimbrel, have struggled recently.

It's time to trade some prospects to get the major league team some pitchers. I'm not looking for a blockbuster at this point, I'm just looking for a starter who can go 6 without giving up 6, and a couple of bullpen arms who aren't Clay Buchholz or Noe Ramirez.

It doesn't seem like a guy with a sub-9 era should be hard to find.

So make it happen Dombrowski. You owe it to the offense you inherited from Ben Cherington and Theo Epstein.

The Most Useful Blog Ever Because I Never Have to Read Shank Shaughnessy Again

The most unlikable guy in Boston? The most unlikable guy in Boston.

Let's be honest, nobody likes Dan Shaughnessy. Unfortunately, he's the Boston Globe's top sports columnist. If we just refuse to read him, or completely ignore him, there's a chance (albeit a small one) that way may miss something important.

But now I never have to read his garbage again.

Whoever is running the Dan Shaughnessy Watch blog is doing God's work. He or she reads Shank's crap, and then recaps it on his blog. Anything important is there. Anything stupid is made fun of. It's the only thing I've ever read on the Internet and thought "Damn it, I wish I came up with that first."

On the other hand, had I come up with it first, I'd have to read Shank's shit every day.

So the 5 or 6 of you left with a Boston Globe subscription should just cancel and bookmark danshaughnessy.blogspot.com.

You're welcome.