Red Sox: Please Make Clay Buchholz Go Away

Must. Throw. To. First. Base. Again. 

Please, Red Sox, no más. I can't take it anymore. I just can't.

Don't make me sit through another Clay Buchholz start. Just end it. Come up with a phantom injury, dupe some sucker GM into trading for him, or DFA the guy.  I really don't care.

Just don't make me watch him pitch ever again.

Thursday night was the most Clay Buchholz start of the season. For three innings, he was dealing. Then in the 4th inning he allowed his first base runner and it all went to shit.

It's the same thing every time. Once a runner gets on base, Clay's OCD kicks in. He can no longer concentrate on the batter. He takes too long between pitches. He pays a stupid amount of attention to the runner. Then he hangs a breaking ball or grooves a fastball.

Lather, rinse, repeat. Literally. He did the same thing three times in 5 innings Thursday night.

We keep holding out hope that the guy's gonna go on another run like he did in 2013. But after starting the month of May with a surprising 7 inning outing against the White Sox where he gave up only 2 runs and earned his first win of the season, Buchholz has given up 18 runs in 4 starts. That's after giving up 20 runs in 5 starts in the month of April.

He's not going on a run, he's just giving up runs (see what I did there?).

As Jared Carrabis pointed out on Twitter, the Red Sox are 3-7 when Clay Buchholz pitches. Think about how hard it is to do that when you're pitching on a team that's currently in first place with a 29-18 record.

The Red Sox with Clay Buchholz pitching are the 2014 Red Sox.

The Red Sox without Clay Buchholz pitching are the 1927 Yankees.

Eduardo Rodriguez is almost ready to return to the Red Sox rotation. When he gets back, someone has to go. There is no compelling argument for keeping Clay Buchholz over any of the other 4 starters. David Price is the ace, Steven Wright has pitched like an ace, Joe Kelly hasn't lost a decision since last July, and Rick Porcello's been the Red Sox most consistent pitcher since last August.

How can you look any of those guys in the face and tell them they're being demoted to the bullpen in favor of Clay Freaking Buchholz?

Forget the talent. Forget the potential. Forget the stuff.

Forget Buchholz.